A child who loses a parent is called an orphan, but there is no word for a parent who loses a child because there is no word great enough to express the loss. No doubt that losing a child goes against everything in nature. It upsets the balance of our lives and we are left wondering "why?". I can tell you, however, that it does get better. You will never forget, or fill that void, but you learn to appreciate everyday things maybe just a little more. But that is a choice, you have to make the choice to turn this horrible situation into something beautiful. You can do that by volunteering, painting a picture, journaling, or even befriending others who are also going through the same kind of loss. Just remember grief is a journey, some days are better than others. I also ask myself "What would my son have wanted for me?" Im pretty sure he would want me to be happy and to help others. I may have to had to give up his body, but what I kept was the tenacious spirit in which he entered this world, and the quiet gracefulness in which he left this world. Those are the things I keep with me and I express them in my daily actions, by how I treat others or kiss my oldest son goodnight or even just my perspective on certain situations. So if you are experiencing the lost of a child ( and it is an experience) then I urge you when you can, to remember the things you have gained, and how you can improve your life or the lives of others. I know that may sound silly to say that you have gained something from losing a child, but its true ( at least it is true for me). One thing that helped me was I had to come to the realization that God ( or whoever you believe in) gave me the baby I needed. Of course I would have loved to have a healthy baby, who wouldnt? I had asked God to give us a baby, and he did. He gave me my son and he was exactly the baby I was supposed to have. I dont see it as a punishment, but rather a privilege. God knew we were strong enough to deal with this sort of loss and we would be able to make something wonderful come out of it. Its been almost 2 years since Harrison passed away, and I can still remember those 3 days with him very clearly. I think about him often, but never with sadness only with the joy and the love that he gave to our family. He was an amazing little baby and I will continue to think of him as nothing other that.